Local News

Wednesday, March 5, 2008


Random Thoughts
by Marlo Benning

I'm clapping for the coaches

You just can't see me. Please just help me out and visualize it in your head...... The reason for my clapping hands? Out of pure appreciation!
The sports section of the newspaper fluctuates throughout the year depending on which sports seasons are underway. Right now, the winter sports are winding down and play-off time is upon us. Actually as I write this, individual state wrestling is in its final hours.
In the wintertime, when boys and girls basketball and wrestling are in full swing, our staff is kept on their (our) toes snapping pictures at home events.
You may notice that the bylines of the articles are very seldom that of our staff, but rather will read "by Coach Finck" or "by Coach Lancaster", for a few examples. Not everyone may be aware that the coaches write the weekly articles for the newspaper, but we certainly are and appreciate every word that they contribute.
Since before my husband and I became the newspaper owners in 2000, this is how the sports writing has been accomplished. It is at times difficult for us to schedule attending one game/match per school a week to snap photos. It would be a big stretch to have to write about each one as well. We certainly wouldn't have the time to write each week, so we feel that this provides better coverage overall.
I'd like to extend a great big THANK YOU to all the coaches that have taken their precious time to communicate the details of their team's progress throughout their season to our readers both currently and in the past. We couldn't do it without you!
On a more humorous note, the following joke is dedicated to all of the coaches that have to not only be dedicated to their sport, but have to try to make everyone happy along the way....

The Coach's Answering Machine
The outgoing message, "Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of The Coach. In order to assist you, please listen to all the options before making a selection.
* To lie about why your child missed practice, press one.
* To make excuses for why your child shouldn't have to follow team rules, press two.
* To complain about what we do without actually talking with someone in person, press three.
* To swear at me, press four.
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you and discussed at booster meetings, press five.
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone, press six.
* To request another coach for the third time this year, press seven.
* To complain that I'm too hard on the kids, press eight.
* To complain that I'm not hard enough on the kids, press nine.
* To complain about me being inaccessible, just speak up, call me at work or at home, come up after a game, send an e-mail, send a postcard, a text message or even come by my office.
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, performance, attitude and that it's not the coach's fault for your child's lack of effort, hang up and have a nice day!
~Joke written by Terry J. Eiter of Detroit Lakes


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