A Matter of Perspective

I really thought that I knew myself quite well. But I will be the first one to tell you that I don’t know much about me at all. For the past month and a half I have felt totally separated from myself. I know that this is a result of the huge changes that have been happening due to COVID-19, but still. I really thought I knew myself well enough to predict my state of mind as a result of something like this. I have read and watched enough movies and seen enough characters and their reactions to things like this that I thought I could figure out which category I would fall into: survivalist, scared/hiding, battle mode or completely insane. All my “research” has left me to realize that I am pretty much like everyone else. At least all of the people I have had a chance to talk with have a feeling of numbness. Kind of like we’ve been given a massive shot of novocaine , but instead of dulling the “pain” it has merely numbed our minds into a state of detachment. I am sure there is a psychological word for this, but I don’t really care what that word or diagnosis would be. (There is probably a diagnosis for that feeling, too!) The point of this musing isn’t to figure out if I am nuts or not (I’m pretty sure that was established many years ago!). No. The point of this article is simply to let other people know that you are not alone with your feelings. Many of us are experiencing them. How we handle these feelings is what separates us. I have chosen to write about my feelings. I think the characters in my book that I started writing last November are taking on some of the traits of my feelings about this whole pandemic. It is actually very fitting for my characters to have these feelings because they, too, are going through some mighty big life changes. I am not going to get my book done by the end of April, but I will be a good chunk of the way done and I am happy about that. Any kind of happiness is probably better than sadness, I think. I will admit that I have had some feelings of deep sadness and stress related to all of this. I guess that is to be expected, too. I am going through the stages that many go through at times like this...disbelief through gradual acceptance. I think I am in the depression stage. But I do things like write or sit on my porch to dispel those feelings. What do you like to do to help yourself get through these “unprecedented” times? I think there will be another virtual Camp NaNoWriMo coming this summer. Maybe you could join me! Check out information on National Novel Writing Month and the many virtual camps they have at: www.nanowrimo.org. I think you will be glad you did.