A Matter of Perspective

A few years ago, I wrote about my friend Stacey Kananen. She and her family lived in the Clarissa area, and we were classmates for a few years—from about second grade until around fifth or sixth grade.

After Stacey and her family left without saying a word (her mom, Marilyn, had worked in the office at the Central Todd County Care Center), we kept in contact for a while, but eventually we lost touch.

Another friend helped me reconnect with Stacey years later when Jerene (Perna) saw Stacey’s trial on Court TV. She was being tried for the murder of her mother.

I didn’t know how to get back in touch with Stacey, so I contacted her attorney. Her attorney gave Stacey my information, and we have been rebuilding a friendship as adults over the past few years.

I connected with Stacey’s spouse, Susan, as well as Lisa, the woman who helped Stacey write her book about her life. The book is titled Fear of Our Father.

Now, Lifetime has made a movie version of the story. It is called Monster in the Family.

I watched it last week after seeing that it had been released, and it made my heart cry again for the pain and anguish my friend went through—what her family went through.

I wish I could go back in time and give that little girl with the blond hair and frail body a big hug and tell her that everything would be okay. But I was little too, and we didn’t talk about things like this back then.

We didn’t talk about parents who were monsters or about life not being a perfect place.

We didn’t know that we could—or should—talk about those things.

And now we encourage our children to talk about these things—about abuse, about neglect, about fear.

I won’t tell you more about the movie—except to say that if you get a chance to see it, do. It is worth the time it takes to watch it.

I will tell you this, however: if you are a child (or even an adult) who is being abused, you can talk about it. You can reach out for help. I know it can be frightening, but fear is one of the tactics abusers use to keep their victims silent.

Don’t keep quiet. There are many places, such as Hands of Hope, that can help you. You can call Hands of Hope at 800-682-4547 (for Todd County). This line is open 24 hours a day, with an advocate who can help you.