A Matter of Perspective

As many of you know, I subscribe to several newsletters that I enjoy reading. One of them is from Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck and Everything Is Fcked: A Book About Hope. Don’t let those titles turn you away from Manson’s thinking. He writes about life, hope, perspective, and second chances, which is why I enjoy his newsletter.

The newsletter is basically a short reflection, and he calls it “Five Minutes Each Week That Might Change Your Life.” It seems like I get it more than once a week, but most of the time it is worthwhile.

Today’s issue was one of those moments that made me stop and think a little more deeply about life beyond what is immediately in front of me.

The premise was that we have an average lifespan of 80 years, and only about 15 of those years are truly ours.

Manson said that approximately 64 years of our lives are spent doing things like sleeping, working, commuting, eating, attending school, and even using the bathroom. (I created the accompanying chart in Claude as I continue testing different AI programs to see what works best for different tasks.)

I was surprised by the breakdown. I thought some of the numbers would be higher and others lower. But when you add everything together—from the time we spend sleeping to the time we spend on the toilet—it totals approximately 64 years.

Still, I think the idea is somewhat subjective.

Often when I eat, I am with other people, talking about life and sharing experiences. I don’t see that as wasted time.

If a person is motivated enough, they could listen to educational or personal development material during their commute. And we all know the “bathroom library” is a vital component of life for many people!

Granted, work, school, and some of the other categories can feel mundane at times, but they still have value. Learning, growing, and making friends should not be considered worthless time.

Yes, we are “forced” into some of those activities, but that does not mean we completely lose control over how we spend that time or what we do within it.

The point Manson was making is that we have roughly 15 years that are fully within our control. The question becomes: Are we spending those years on what truly matters?

I would say that depends on what “truly matters” means to each of us.

If spending time with family and friends matters to you, then yes, maybe you are already meeting that standard.

Manson suggests using something he calls “The Immortality Test” to evaluate the choices we make.

“The Immortality Test is a concept drawn from the work of philosopher Ernest Becker,” according to Manson.

The basic premise is simple: “Will what I’m doing matter when I’m gone?”

If the answer is yes, Manson says to keep doing it. If not, perhaps it is time to reconsider.

“The Immortality Test reveals that the most meaningful things we do are rarely about us; they’re actually about the things that outlive us.”

I think I actually said, “Duh,” out loud when I read that.

Of course the things with the deepest meaning are often connected to what we do for others rather than what we do for ourselves. But does that mean spending time with children, grandchildren, friends or the people we love has less value? I don’t think so. I think tremendous value, purpose, and clarity can come from those moments.

And sometimes, in those quiet moments when I am especially thoughtful, I think not everything has to be life-changing or world-altering. Not every moment has to move mountains.

Sometimes things can simply be things, and moments spent can simply be moments spent.

What do you think?