A Matter of Perspective

“Amazing grace how sweet the sound...”

When someone you love dies, it is hard to find comfort. The holes in the heart, the little forgotten things, the regrets, the happy memories, the future...It all jumbles together in a hodge-podge of grief.

As many of you probably know by now, my mom—Wilma Nauber—died on Wednesday, September 29. She was 80 years old. She had lived a long life the latter part of which she had many struggles.

My mom was amazing. If you knew her, you know this. If you didn’t know her, you missed out.

The past two weeks have been a blur with a lot going on in between the little downpours from the deepest parts of my heart.

I haven’t felt like myself. Perhaps it is because I’m not myself. A part of me feels like it is missing.

I want to tell you the story of my mom’s last moments here on earth.

I had the honor to be with her at the very end of her earthly life along with my sister and Katrina. I also believe my dear departed brother was there, too, taking her hand and leading her home to heaven.

I was on one side of her hospital bed and Pam was on the other side.

This is the story as told by Katrina because being in that moment, I don’t remember all the details like she did while observing.

“Karin, Pam and I were in the room with Wilma. Robert, RC, and Sam all took Don to the cafe.

I said, “Hey, how about some music. She loves hymns, let’s play Amazing Grace”.

I pulled it up on Youtube and asked Pam who should we have sing it.

She said, “Mom loves Alan Jackson and they would listen to him a lot.”

So I handed Karin the phone and said she should put it by her mom’s head so she could hear it better.

Karin was on one side of Wilma and Pam the other. Pam said, “Oh mom, isn’t it beautiful?” and Karin said “One of your favorite songs.”

Wilma started to get quieter. We could see and hear that her raspy breathing started to settle right down. As the song continued to play, Wilma got quieter and quieter.

Karin hands me back the phone and said “Mom, mom?” Then starts saying my name.

I felt for a pulse. There was none. Then said, “Yes, she’s gone.” Right at moment Robert, Don and the grandchildren walked into the room. Karin said to them “She’s gone.”

We got the doctor and she confirmed that Wilma had indeed left this earth.

The past few days have been a whirlwind of emotions for everyone in the family. But the one thing that has stood out to me most is the fact that Wilma loved her daughters. Both of them! She wanted them unified at the end just as she always wanted them unified throughout their lives. She gave them the ultimate gift of knowing that she crossed over peacefully listening to God’s Praise. A bond and a powerful memory that they will forever cherish.

Although I was honored to be able to be there, that moment was for Karin and Pam. Sisters!

I started to cry as I was reading through this again. It was a special moment.

I had said I didn’t want to be there if my mom was going to die, but I think by being there, it was just meant to be.

There is still a well of tears in my heart that have to be shed to help fill the empty spot that was left by my mom’s death, but I know that things will get better. Even though the hole will never be filled, I know that she no longer suffers and that is a blessing.