In Focus

I know everyone is tired of hearing about the virus. So enjoy some jokes from the Internet! What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but I hear the flag is a big plus. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast. Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?” Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: you get what you deserve. A woman in labor suddenly shouted “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!” “Don’t worry,” said the doc. “Those are just contractions.” Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck. A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you...” What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause. What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? “Curses! Foil again!” What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.